I had a sudden flash of epithany: all my childhood I used to wear uniform and sometimes it seemed to be that the uniform dominates in everything. It is a real symbol of my bing untill I entered the Uni - that black-and-white costume. And right now I don't have any costumes in my wardrobe.
To tell the truth, I've got colourful tights, orange-plaid skirt, fantastic red and yellow boots, green trousers and blue hoodie. I faced with inner intention to be brighter in everything, to speak, to scream, express everything, and this turned my outlook to a little bit... punk, I guess. Or like those unformal and always drunk young boys and girls. I hardly ever drink anything alcoholic -e.g. a glass of wine in a couple of months. I have no need in being drunk to create something insane or unusual. Actually, I don't need any stimulator because of my mind struction- it is always on a fringe, it absorbs all the information it could get. My brain, as I think, got used to an Informational hunger since the schooltime ,it used to be in every minute of its existence, so that it just can't stop getting information now. However, lets get back to the main topic.
All this stuff if a compensation for my early growing up, for the official style, official behaviour, closed to the influence from anywhere soul.
Actually, I still don't care so much about the clothes, the style, et cetera, et cetera.
Alternatively, I feel the wind of change. Whole my body- inside and outside.
Thank you, the Misterious Stranger who opened my eyes. No more doubts and no more regrets take place in my life. That's enough.
I think, it's time to open myself. It's time to forget about permament shame.
Hello.
Maybe one day I'll also become independent of answers and I'll stop the Great Waiting Process.